A few months ago a patient told me that every time she saw a woman on the tube with a “Baby on Board” badge she felt an uncontrollable anger.
“I want to be pleased for her” she said “but I just have this urge to go up to her and say “Well good for you! Aren’t you clever?”
“Does that make me a bad person?”
“No, not at all.” I said “In fact it makes you very normal.”
You see the truth is most of the woman I treat have these kinds of feeling of resentment all the time.
When you’re struggling to conceive it can seem like the world is CONSTANTLY pushing your buttons.
Maybe it’s the sister in law who effortlessly spills out babies from her ever fertile womb.
Maybe it’s the friends who went on honeymoon and came back pregnant.
Or the parents or parents-in-law who keep asking for a grandchild.
Or the insensitive couple who make comments like “Well hey, at least you guys get to hump a lot”. And you can’t really explain to them that once lovemaking becomes a job, it’s not really fun any more.
Or the work colleague at the Christmas party who says to you “You’re not drinking. Are you pregnant?”
Or the pregnant woman at your friend’s wedding who tells you “It’ll be you next”.
Is it any wonder you feel resentful sometimes?
The truth is you are not a bad person. You’re reacting like any normal person in your situation. And you are definitely not alone.
Recognising this won’t stop your in-laws from asking “So when are you having a baby”. But it might help you feel more sane when that wave of emotion rises inside you.
BSc Neurosci. Lic Ac MBAcC